Friends' The drunken version
by Nitzi
Summary: 'Friends', the TV hit seires is coming back, bigger, wilder, and uncut!


Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, but to Bright, Kaufman and Crane Productions and Warner Bros. Their use is not intended for profit, only for entertainment.  
  
Summary: Well, I don't wanna say much, all im willing to say is that Ross and Rachel are dating and Monca and Chandler are engaged (not yet married -nods-) and that Joey loves Rachel. that's it! Enjoy!  
  
Rating: [G]  
  
Fun Party. Rachel had to work late that night. She called earlier to make sure has plans, so he wouldn't have to stay alone. Though, what plans can ROSS possibly have? She thought to herself. She was thinking about Ross and her more often nowdays. They were going out now for almost a month, but she didn't feel she loves him like she used to before. Maybe they aren't meant to be after all. What am I saying? I love BEING with Ross. after not having a relationship in such a long time, Ross is the best thing for me. He is Emma's dad, he loves me, and I like having a boyfriend. But im not happy. Of-course im happy! Ross is a great guy, he makes me laugh, he's nice, he isn't that bad. Ok, focus, I have to focus. the time wasn't really late, but it was late for Rachel, since she used to be home at 18:00 latest. Noone seemd to be at her office, and she thought she was all alone. that thought scared her. She hated to be alone at night. She was concetrating hard on her papers, that the knock on the door jumped her from her sit. "Ye.. es.. ?" she asked, shaking.  
"It's me, Chandler." She sighed. "Yeah, come in." Chandler stepped into the office. He was wearing a black suit, looking rather festy. She knew he was getting back from work these times, and she felt uncomfortable for wearing such simple clothes to her work. "Hey Chandler!" She rose from her sit and hugged him. She was happy he came, she felt so lonely.  
"Ah, I kinda need to talk to you, and it's kinda important." He sat on one of the chairs in front of Rachel's desk. He was looking around, he never been to her office before. Quite nice, he though. Not too girlish, not too clean. Pretty normal, yet, you could feel it's a woman's office.  
"So, what's up Chandler?" She asked him, gathering her papers into a pile.  
"If you're busy I can always come some other day, I don't wanna intr."  
"No! no! you're not disturbing me at all. I was feeling kinda lonely anyways. So, tell me, whats on your mind?" Rachel was afraid he might leave. She really wanted him to stay. Being around a man made her feel safe.  
"Well, my mind has a picture of me and Monica sinking in money piles, but my mind isn't what's concerning you right now." He said, hoping to make her laugh, though, she didn't, she looked at him weird. "Anyways," He went on, "you know how I always complain about my sucky job? Well, I kinda quit today."  
"You did?! Oh-my-god! Congratulations honey! Im so happy for you! This deserves a hug!" She got up and hugged him. They hugged were hugging, though they didn't leave each other. Rachel put her head on his shoulder, feeling his muscles (yes, he has been working out. xD), trying to sink into this infinite feeling of happiness surrounding her, but then she rezlized they were just standing hugged in the middle of her office.She wanted to keep hugging him, though she knew it wasn't right. She was with Ross. Chandler didn't seem to care about their long hug as well. He knew Rachel was scared and vulnerable right now, but he felt so nice hugging her. She had an intoxicating smell, and she was so small and safe under his arms. He felt like he wanted to keep standing like that forever, let time just freeze. He knew Monica was his fiancee, but Rachel felt so sweet next to him. No, he has to stop this. He's with Monica. They both split together. "Sorry" Rachel said. "My mind wandered and I wasn't paying attention. I, just, never mind."  
"What? What did you wanted to say?" Chandler hoped she would say he makes her feel better, or at least that it meant something to her, as much as it meant to him.  
"Nothing, Nothing, it's just really scary here and im quite afraid, so maybe it was that." She smiled at him and sat next to him. "So, what can I do for my favorite friend?" She asked him, trying to sound normal.  
"Well, I told you I quit, so I kinda wondered if theres anything open for me, since, well, you know me, and maybe you can help. I could've asked Monica but she would freak out that I quit, so I wanted to tell her I already have a job and that she doesn't have to poke my eyes." He was looking at her closely. He wanted to finish his hug from before. He kept saying he loves Monica, but Rachel couldn't stop getting in his mind.  
"Well, I can pay you to pick me up an assistant. since Tag quit, I didn't have the time to find a new one." Rachel said, trying to avoid Chandler's gazes at her.  
"What does being your assistant mean?" Chandler asked, hoping she gets the clue.  
"Well, it doesn't matter, all you have to do is make sure he doesn't enjoy elephants in pink skirts while he drinks his coffee in the morning, just pick the normal person between the 140 applicants."  
"No, I meant what does the assistant do?" Chandler was really hoping she would get him now.  
"Well, as MY assistant, you gotta bring me food in the morning and entertain me whenever I feel like it, and be able to sleep with me. No, im just kidding." She said, after Chandler gave her an astonished look.  
"Well, what if I would be your assistant? It doesn't sound very hard, and I could use the money, you pay good right?" Chandler was half asking half begging.  
"Yeah, yeah, I don't pay, the head department pays, but I heard they pay just about as much as I get. Wait, you really wanna be my assistant? I mean, it's great! I know you already, it wouldn't turn out to be a relationship, and you aren't stupid!" Rachel was excited. Having Chandler around her so much time of the day made her feel better. She was getting lonely and she wasnted to bond her friendship with Chandler more deeply. From that moment on, Rachel and Chandler signed Chandler's assistannce with another hug. This time it was a short hug, just as friends.  
  
That same night, Rachel was telling Ross about her new co-worker, while Chandler told Monica about his new job. Both Monica and Ross thought this was a great idea, and supported Chandler with his new job.  
  
Meanwhile, Phoebe wasn't going on very well. She was depressed, noone understood her for some reason, not even Joey, he was too much into Rachel. Maybe she was jealous. She started cutting herself, and drinking. She told her friends she was away, going to the beach to visit her mom, but she needed help. She knew she needed help, but she was afraid of asking for it. Phoebe was inviting people to her house every other day, having parties and naughty things -im not sure I can say more, its G rated-. She was drunk most of the day, and while she was drunk, she was having parties and having love acting with people she didn't knew. When she was sober, she was depressed by what she did, and she cut herself. She knew she was dragged into a big mess. While she was having one party, Ross passed under her house, on his way home. He heard noises from her apartment, and thought it was burglers. He went upstairs to see whats going on, and saw Phoebe, half naked, dancing on top of a table, while a bunch of drunk people were singing and dancing around her. Music was played loudly, and the atmosphere was cool and happy. Ross grabbed Phoebe right before she took her bra off, in front of this crowd of people he didn't know.  
"Phoebe? What's going on?" he was astonished, and had to yell over the loud music.  
"Nothing! Having fun. whoops!" she fell backwards.  
"Nothing?! Phoebe, aren't you at the beach?" Ross held her up, supporting her.  
"Noooooo!!! I got back, oo! It's Ross everybody!" She yelled.  
"We have to get these people out of here! Come on, lets get you dressed." Ross was worried about his friend, he saw the cuts on her hand, but didn't say a thing meanwhile.  
"No! Ross, I wanna stay and have fun! It's great in here! If you want to my friend, grab a beer and have fun! If you want to be geeky old Ross, 'Byebye!'" Phoebe was saying in a baby voice. Ross didn't thought it was such a bad idea to stay. He wanted to show Phoebe he was wild as well. "Ok! Im staying!" Ross said, taking his coat off.  
"Gre-.-t! grab a beer, but I don't know where the beers are.. LOOK! Wow! Sausges doing the hoola hoop! " She looked sad, then turned away and left. Ross wanted to tell her it was her fingers with the rings on them, but she left. Ross didn't feel good about this, but he had to prove he was wild. He walked around the room, and found a lot of Vodka bottles at the kitchen. He took some for himself and started partying.  
  
Rachel was worried where Ross might be up all night. He didn't return her bipper calls, and he didn't answer his cellphone. She called Chandler and told him she's really worried and scared all by herself, and Chandler said he would be right over. Monica was asleep, so Chandler left a note saying he had some job things to do for Rachel. When Chandler arrived, Rachel hugged him. They were hugging for a long time now as well. Rachel didn't want to leave him, she felt so protected with him around. Chandler wouldn't leave Rachel as well, he felt the need to protect her. "Im so worried" Rachel said. "It's Ross, he never stay up out all night." She was sniffing.  
"I know, I know, im worried as well." Chandler said, brushing her hair with his fingers.  
"Promise me you won't leave me here alone, Chandler im scared." Rachel was crying now, holding him tighter.  
"I won't, I promise." Chandler held her. They were so close, so close and intimate, they needed each other.  
  
Over at Phoebe's party, Ross and Phoebe were drunk like 2 fraternity students. They obviously drank too much, and laughed a lot.  
"Look at me! Im a donkey! Oink Oink!" Phoebe said to Ross, who looked at her weirdly.  
"Noo!!!" Ross said. "A donkey says Moo!!!" Ross "corrected" her.  
"Oo! Im so stupid." She looked into his eyes. "Hey, let's go to the back room." She started walking in zig-zag.  
"Whats in there?" Ross asked her, falling off the counter.  
"I dunno, but I saw some people." She signed him as if she wanted to tell him a secret, and he go close to her. "Naked." She whisperd. Ross laughed. "You look nice naked!" He said. That led them into the back room.  
  
The morning after, Ross woke up with a huge headache. He was lying in bed, not remembering a thing out of the last night. The room was dark. Bitts of sunshines were coming through the closed window's little spaces, Giving Ross a weird feeling about last night. He rose up into sitting, looking around. He was naked, in bed, and then he noticed a strange man lying on the other side of the bed, coverd with the blanket. Then Ross rememberd what he did last night. But it couldn't be, he coulsnt have had sex with a guy!  
  
To be continued.  
  
Special thanks to Riki, who is this fic partner. xD 


End file.
